Student-activist hopeful plans 'Make Pepsi 25% Less Opaque' rally
Former CSA Senate candidate and potential economics major Burt Krall '05 announced Wednesday that he will soon steward "an important rally for beverage justice." Holding a newly purchased bottle of Pepsi, Krall rose and delivered a speech to nearly 15 Carleton students during lunchtime in Burton Dining Hall. His comments almost immediately stirred the students into action and prompted them to leave the dining hall.
Krall was seemingly ecstatic at having found an outlet for what roommate Dan Wallers termed, "an almost desperate need to lead a popular activity." The Musser Hall resident has been to meetings of nearly 60 extra-curricular groups at Carleton, where he has made a total of 23 failed bids at becoming a club officer.
Krall has been researching the opacity of Pepsi for over six months. He tends to become agitated at parties and has explained his upcoming rally in great detail to at least 35 female Carleton students. By taking some of the opacity away, Krall promises, drinks every-where will be on a level playing ground, although he was reluctant to provide specifics. PepsiCola has shied away from lessening opacity since the Crystal Pepsi debacle, Krall is confident that his grassroots campaign will persuade them.
It is unclear how many students will don face paint and carry placards in the march through the Nourse-Myers Quad next Sunday. Wallers has agreed to take a picture that Krall plans to send "special delivery" to the PepsiCola Corporation.
Said Krall: "I'll finally leave my mark."