In Other News...
40%-Lean Beef On Sale For $0.49/lb.
40%-lean ground beef went on sale for 49 cents a pound last week at Econofoods, prompting a campus-wide rash of food poisoning. Dozens of on-board students, mostly freshmen and sophomores, have reported cases of nausea, chest pains and hysterical blindness in what experts are calling a "Marriott backlash."
"Some of these students haven't eaten beef in weeks," said Wellness Center spokesperson Jeanine Killengrand. "They see weeks of stroganoff and mystery dishes and then real hamburger meat for that kind of price and they just can't resist."
Killengrand blamed malnutrition and lack of disposable income as the main causes for the beef binge, urging students to remember, "When it's 40%-lean, that leaves a lot of room for dog meat and pig anus. Be careful."
Student Not Sure Whether He's Dating Girl
After two Snack Bar lunches and a SUMO movie, Carleton sophomore Bill Long is still unsure whether he's dating floormate Wendy Rellin.
"I think she's into me," Long said Wednesday. "I mean, we talk for, like, hours at a time. And at the movie I think she totally wanted to hold my hand. I just wish we were in the same class so we could study together."
Long's predicament is the fifth time at Carleton he's been unsure of his dating status, including a two-week freshman tryst he now considers his first relationship.
"We didn't kiss or anything," Long has been quoted as saying. "But that's not all there is to dating."
At press time, Long was holding to his "Indiana Jones just isn't romantic enough" story.
Rellin could not be reached for comment.
Carleton Considering Wind Energy
Members of the EAC and the Facilities Department met Thursday with officials from the Northfield School District in hopes of combining windtower management systems. The Facilities Department is working to develop a wind-energy program at Carleton, the most significant part of which would be a 1.5 megawatt windtower. Such a project would cost the school approximately 1.5 million dollars and would supply 40% of Carleton's power for the next twenty years. Members of the board are still looking for a private sponsor to defray a significant portion of the installation cost. Interested parties should contact Facilities director Richard Strong or EAC chair Alyssa Thomas for more information.